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Old, Fat Punks got another lovely review, which I missed because I don’t pay enough attention to my reviews!

People really, really seem to like it, which is encouraging. I probably should write more books and put more effort into finding an agent.

“Well, I took a bung on a book just by its cover. And it was well worth the read. Full of life, with believable characters and a vivid colourful background. As a member of generation x and an ageing hippy, this is brilliant, political and strikes anchors with the masses .”

“To be honest I reckon I know the main characters in the book, so close to some of my own friends.”

“Brilliant. Just brilliant. cannot wait for his next work.”

✮✮✮✮✮

 

Nerd Rappin’

So last night I’m making a Youtube video and talking on Facebook while it renders or I’m downloading effects. Between the video and a conversation I was having I remember an episode of Aeon Flux I particularly loved which was of some relevance. Then I think ‘I loved the music on Aeon Flux, I wonder if you can get in anywhere’. A little Google-Fu later (avoiding the movie, *shudder*) and what should I find but the sales website of the composer himself, Drew Neumann.

I think ‘what the hell, I’ll help a brother out’ and buy the remastered triple-album version of the music for just over $10, figuring I can listen to it in the car and I can use snippets in my videos – because it’s cool.

All good, download it, no problem.

Then I get an email from Drew himself just to let me know if I had any problems with the download I could ask.

So I reply, nerding out – as one does – about Aeon and how much I love the music (almost equally to the animation) and then Drew mails me back…

‘Wait, are you THAT James Desborough, the RPG guy?’

Turns out Drew is a massive D&D nerd and ‘knows my work’.

That, ladles and gentlespoons, is frigging, cool.

You can buy and download the Aeon Flux music HERE (and it’s instrumental, so good for having on while you’re working or gaming). I highly recommend that you do.

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So here’s the plan.

Patreon subscribers will now get the following perks.

  1. Patreon subscribers will get to suggest topics for new Youtube videos and those ideas will be given priority over other topics. Simply use the contact messaging system there to submit ideas.
  2. Patreon subscribers will, monthly, get access to a discount code for one of my existing products, typically allowing them to purchase it at half price. At a buck a month, that should add up fairly quickly to value for money!
  3. Patreon subscribers will be able to suggest other things they’d like access to as perks by messaging in private.

I have removed individual product pages from Facebook and, in their place there are now three pages.

I shall try and make sure I provide updates at least once a month, but social media wrangling on a serious scale does take time away from working.

Mrs. Mundy

d3b54c63cc513eee4c66089211eb865aMrs. Mundy was too busy to die. When she felt a terrible pain in her chest and her vision swam and went black she just gritted her teeth and refused. She shook her head until the pain faded and the stars went away and then she felt a lot better.

“Oh, I can’t get sick right now. There’s too much to do!” She muttered to herself and scrubbed away at the dishes with even more ferocity than she already had been until the last of that dizzy feeling faded away. There were the dishes to finish – and there was melted cheese stuck to them – the floors to scrub, the steps to sweep and lord knew what else to do around the house. It never seemed to end.

It kept getting worse. Things kept piling up that needed doing and Mrs. Mundy was in her seventies now. Nothing happened quickly anymore. There was the hoovering and the dusting, the spare room needed repainting and it wasn’t as though there was anyone else to do it, God rest her dear old Harry. Then there were these blisters she’d gotten and then there were all these flies that had turned up in the house and the little black spots they left all over her nice white walls. She wasn’t having any of that.

By the time she’d dealt with them – flypaper hanging everywhere, spray to get rid of the persistent ones, not that she liked to use nasty chemicals and her daughter had always nagged her about the ozone – and sticking plasters for all her blisters, well, then there were more problems.

She had developed a cold. A runny nose, a bloated stomach, diarrhoea, a heavy feeling in her head. Along with that dizzy spell and the chest pain from the other day, as well as the blisters she clearly wasn’t well. Maybe she’d had a bad reaction to that new washing-up liquid she’d bought? Who had time for the doctor when that horrible smell lingered in the house and her ‘condition’ meant the bathroom needed constant cleaning? At least she wasn’t hungry. That was something, not needing to wash dishes so much.

Still, Mrs. Mundy couldn’t get a break.

She still wasn’t feeling well and somehow she kept getting the most horrible stains on her clothes, green and yellow and fatty, even though she wasn’t eating. No matter how often she ran them through the wash they wouldn’t get properly clean. Who had time to go to the shops for more dresses when there was work to do?

The cat kept leaving dead animals – or at least pieces of rotting meat – around the house and scrubbing those stains out took a lot of effort. All this work meant she was losing a lot of weight, which was a nice thought. She’d have to get some new dresses soon either way if this kept up, but in the meantime, an old belt would keep her dress on, stained or not.

Mrs. Mundy got exhausted. It was harder and harder to move each and every day until one day she simply couldn’t get out of bed, though it pained her just as much to stay there. Housework would be piling up, the cat would be going unfed and his litter box uncleaned but there was nothing for it. She couldn’t even raise her head from the pillow.

So she slept.

The next morning she felt a lot better, light as air, right as rain.

“The rest has done me good!” she said to herself as she set to work. It never ended and now there were these bones all over the bedroom to dust and polish along with everything else.

A woman’s work was never done.

GOD FUCKING DAMN I HATE THESE ‘ARTICLES’.

Ariel!

ArielRapunzel!

Rapunzel

Sleeping Beauty!

SleepingBeauty

Jasmine!

Jasmine

Belle!

Belle

 

Tiana!

Tiana

Snow White!

SnowWhite

Cinders!

cindarella

Merida!

Merida

Mulan!

Mulan

Pochahontas!

Pochahontas

My first audiobook is available for download from Audible.com (and soon from other places). You can get it HERE.

It’s a short(ish) story (about half an hour long – so sort of like a radio play in length) about a grubby, disheveled and broadly disliked London detective who’s given a shit case that leads to an interesting place.

This appears to mean that my setup is now good enough for recording audiobooks and voiceovers. So if anyone needs that kind of work done, let me know!

Art for Stain by the lovely Rowena Aitken.

I’m having problems with my internet.

Specifically, whenever the ADSL is plugged in, the line goes incredibly noisy. If you pick up the phone it sounds like someone crumpling paper while berating you in one of those African clicking languages. This means the internet drops out – frequently – and doesn’t reconnect, sometimes for up to an hour.

Needless to say, for someone who works from home and who also largely relies on the internet for entertainment and companionship, this is an issue.

So, our intrepid adventurer set out to sort this out.

First, he contacted his ISP helpdesk, who informed him that noise on the line was British Telecom’s issue, not theirs.

So he contacted British Telecom, who (eventually) sent out an engineer to tinker with the cables and the faceplates and to test the line. “All is well!” reported the Nepalese engineer, patting our hero’s little wooden statue of Ganesh on his way out. “In fact, your copper wire is much better than it needs to be!”

For a very, very short time, all was well. Then the problem started again.

Our hero contacted British Telecom again, just to be sure and since they’d done everything else (changed filters, tried a different router, replaced the faceplates and tested the line) and since the problem was coming from the ADSL they bounced him back to his ISP.

While consulting at length over days with the ISP and getting things raised up to engineer level, it emerged that our hero apparently had two different ADSL accounts. Each one to a different number.

“This doesn’t sound right…” our hero said, and so looked into it, this time getting bounced between customer service and tech support.

Way back when, due to malicious phone calls to his home number, our hero had had to change his number from XXX to YYY. He had informed his ISP at the time and there had been no problem. Then, earlier this year when he upgraded to truly unlimited business broadband there was an issue. A repeated issue. Despite the number change the ISP repeatedly set up the new broadband on the wrong number (XXX). Eventually, it was sorted out and all was well, it was now – supposedly – associated with YYY.

But no. In investigating this technical issue it seemed that not only was the XXX account still open, but he had been being charged for both for some time. They’d never closed that account. Furthermore, that legacy account, on the phone number he wasn’t even using any more, was apparently the one he was using for broadband now.

Confusion reigned.

BT disavowed knowledge of the XXX number and insisted it had been deactivated. The ISP insisted that this was the number the account he was using (FakeAccountName) was associated with, while the YYY number was associated with FakeAccountName1.

A solution was wrought, though it would have to wait until the noisy line issue was resolved first. FakeAccountName associated with XXX would be closed and FakeAccountName1 would then be renamed to FakeAccountName.

Long story short, I’m taking a couple of mental health days and staying away from telephones for a while, and my internet and email will be spotty for about a fortnight.

*Collapses*